Dr. Deborah’s Thoughts

I grew up thinking that I came from a broken home especially since there were all indications of that fact when my father and mother separated at the tender age of 12.  For a “daddy’s girl” like me, that was quite a devastating event.  However, as I began to grow and mature, I came to the realization that I don’t like what the dictionary and the world describes as a broken home.  Webster’s dictionary defines it as a home in which the parents have divorced.  The problem with that definition is that it is not accurate.  I have worked over the past 27 years with families who have two parents, two children a beautiful house and a dog only to find that the husband sleeps and eats in another room.  Imagine how soul-crushing it is to live in a house without parents loving each other.  What would we call that?  We as families should not attach ourselves to any labels that are placed on us by society.  When something is broken it is considered “damaged goods” and for me there are no families or homes that are damaged. We as parents have had broken dreams, broken hearts, broken relationships and broken promises.  The promise to love and to cherish for better or for worse, for richer or poorer until death do us part” Those were the promises that were broken.  

Author, C. JoyBell C. said, “There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”

There are no broken families…just families with different circumstances and challenges to overcome.  As we seek to overcome the challenges in our homes and families remember that LOVE will always be thicker than blood and home is where the heart is.

Blessings,

Dr. Deborah L. Tillman