The effects of “spoiling” children

Recently, I heard a parent call their child “spoiled”. Thank goodness, it was not one of our Happy Home Christian Leadership Academy parents. When supporting parents, I often ask them not to call their children spoiled to their face, no matter how angry they get. We are trying to promote confidence, not shame as the very word has a derogatory connotation. Below are some examples of what “SPOILED” really looks like.

When children are spoiled and allowed to do what they want, a few things happen:

First: They don’t know how to follow rules – Rules at home should be rules everywhere even at the (grandparents) house. Children need uniformity in what they are being told or else they are not going to know how to behave.

Second: They believe they should have everything – Yes, a child that is told they can have anything will think they deserve everything. And NO ONE gets everything they want. This lesson is just setting a child up to be greedy.

Third: They lose gratitude for what they do have – Children should be grateful for what they have, not just for the things that people give them. When children are just given everything they want, why should they care about what they already have? They don’t appreciate its value and begin to believe it can always be replaced.

They become “not –nice” people – While it is upsetting to think of it this way, children who are constantly told they are perfect and that they don’t have to follow rules, become people you don’t want to be around as adults. So let us help

Until Next time, Happy Parenting!

Dr. Deborah L. Tillman